Namaste

hi ladies, i'm in noida, india. sitting in a conference room working 10-12 hour days. this is what happens when you travel onsite to work, they literally want to sqeeze every penny out of you. i've been going from hotel - car - work - car - hotel. sleep in the hotel, eat in the hotel, havne't really stepped out on the street much in the first week. but this past weekend, we went to agra, to visit the taj mahal and the agra fort. so that was fun, walking in the 90 degree heat for 5 hours. taj mahal is smaller than i thought and very very crowded. but it's nice to add another world's 7 wonders on my have seen list.

the situation at home is not something i want to think about. after all that crying, screaming and heart breaking, the truth is, money has been spent and now all i can think of is how to pay it back. after speaking to him for the first time in a week last night, i cried some more and couldn't fall asleep until 6am, which gave me about 45 min sleep before heading back to the office for 12 hour days.

im heading back to london on the 20th, probably stay another week for some wrap up work. but who knows how long that's gonna take. i miss home, miss daisy, but i don't want to go back to deal with him. i feel like i'm on an excile. i feel like by being here with all the heavy work load, my mind is not concentrate on him. once i get back, it's going ot be slow in the office again, and i'll go nuts trying to make him pay me back.

sign, problems, stress, what else is new in life right? its as if my anxiety attacks and depression is not enough, life decided to gave me more shit to deal with. it's all a part of growing up i guess. i'll learn, and for that, i'm paying a heavty price.

ladies, no matter how much you love your man, remember you always come first. you are not his savior, you are not his mother, he is not your responsibility and don't try to change him. it will never work. in the end, it'll just hurt the both of you.

i miss you all and i can't wait to go home and read through my blogroll. stay pretty. i shall see y'all soon!

O.M.G.

can life get any worse?

i woke up one day $20,000 poorer. it's a long story, but it involves a girl trusting a boy wit her credit thinking it'd help him get off his feet, but instead he took our cash advance to go gambling. so now she is $20,000 poorer and 100% sadder.

i just got to london and the weather's.. sucks is an understatement. rainy, glommy, foggy, just a total head fuck. we flew economy for 7 hours to london last night, then flying tonight to india again ON ECONOMY, which is an 8 hour flight. london sucks. i don't know how people live here. there is practically NOBODY HERE!! we got here 8pm on a sunday night, and the streets are empty. wth? it's like a ghost town.

my life is miserable. hope yours is better.