New Year Blue

To make this boring rant entry somewhat justifiable (is that a word?),
I'm currently sitting in a half empty office with a severe cold, my nose
is so stuffed, I feel like I need an inhaler to breathe. And the snot is
just flowing endlessly, very tempted to stuff a tampon in my left
nostril, but I'll save my coworkers the horror. Anyways, readers, I'm
bored, so here I am feel like shit, trying to finish my performance
review, and all I can think about is a big bowl of hot soup with
scallions and cilantro, not that I can taste it, but it's the thought of
having my favorite veggie send shivers up and down my spine.
<<nye.JPG>>
New Year's Eve came and went. I didn't have any specific plan. And
coming down with a cold seemed like a good enough excuse to not feel
guilty of missing all those NYE parties. I went to a coworker's apt at
Time Square, just me and her (hi yijung! I know you are reading this!),
rocked our sweats, cooked Korean food, ate our hearts out, popped 2
bottles of champagne, watched Sex and the City Season 5, bitched about
how unrealistic SITC is according to the real NYC single gals lives
(i.e. us two), passed out on the couch, ate some junk food, looked at
the crowded at time square (she said it's 3 times less people than
previous years, I think that's a better recession indicator than
whatever Bloomberg tells ya), did a 2008 recap, bitched about how bad of
a year it was for both of us, complained about boys, thought about what
if we will ever be happy again, thought about jumping out the window,
but quickly dismissed that idea as the window was too small to squeeze
us through, at 11:45, realized the ball was dropping soon (somehow the
ball dropping sentence sends a dirty grin on my face), quickly washed
dishes and cleaned up (have on idea why it was necessary to wash all
those dishes at 11:52), boiled some more ginger tea (to heal cold for
the both of us), grabbed the second bottle of champagne out of the
fridge at 11:58, quickly unsealed it, held on to the bottle, stood in
front of the TV, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!! To find the champagne still had the
iron wire on it, quickly undid that, and POP. YAY! 2009!!! We hugged and
congratulated each other for still being alive. Sat down, waited for a
miracle to happen, like 2 handsome Asian bankers were to show up at the
door and ask us for the hands of marriage, that didn't happen. Popped in
the second season of SITC, finally went to sleep at around 2am.
<<nye2.JPG>>

I personally think NYE is the most pointless overrated holiday ever.
It's not to celebrate any idea or story or theme, it's just to celebrate
something that happens so naturally, like the damn clock is ticking. You
do all those preparation, getting all worked up, put on your 2009
glasses, wait outside in the cold, and then when it is 12:00, 1/1/2009,
NOTHING HAPPENS! It's like we are all waiting for a miracle to happen at
the moment the clock ticks to 12:00. Like a freaking rainbow colored
unicorn is supposed to fly across the sky doing a back flip at 12:00.
What's the point of watching a damn electronic disco ball electronically
move to the bottom of a pole at the exact moment the year passes? Why
can't it be more festive? Shoot a few rounds of AK47 in the sky and
scream "the year is over!"? Ok, maybe firearms are a little on the
unsafe side, but how about fireworks? Isn't that more festive than a
freaking glistening disco ball?

All this NYE deal is just so we can put 2008 behind us. For most of us,
it was a bad year - people in school, be glad you are still in school.
2009 sounded so hopeful, I couldn't wait to get over with 2008. But
would the change in 1 digit on our calendar change anything at all?
Don't we still need to work to make those changes? I believe changes
must be brought up on yourself by yourself. By celebrating the bad year
has ended doesn't change shit around here.

Oh, and another thing - New Year's Resolution. C'mon people, if you
couldn't do it in June, why would you think you could do it in January?
I think the start of the year should be full of hibernation and gift
returning runs to the mall. Why would you want to work out when it's 30
degrees out and your fat is covered under thick down jackets? Who's
gonna see it? You want to work out, start in April or something, getting
ready for the itty bitty bikini season, not freaking knitted sweater
season. I go an extra mile to give up shaving too. Don't start with the
ewww, you know you do it too. Winter fur to keep your warm. =)

Anyways, enough blues, I should be more optimistic about this year. I
mean, I've had every bad thing happen to me in 2008, you can't get any
worse than this. I must say though, I did have a great summer in 2008. I
had someone to go to the pool with, someone to go hiking with, someone
to have bbq with. But 2009 is year where I will learn how to go to the
pool on my own, go hiking on my own, and have a bbq on my own (that
sounds pathetic, but oh wells).

In 2009, I don't expect any career advancements, big bonus or a white
knight in a shiny armor. I just want to be ok with myself. Be content
with myself by myself. Be happy with myself by myself. Whether life
throws me another curve ball down the road, I just want to be ok to
think even though I didn't hit a homerun, I'm still in the game.

So ladies, here is to 2009 - a year where you can make changes to
anything you do. And be OK with yourself by yourself. =)

Signing off - a very congested cuttibebe