First GMAT

edit: I'm feeling much today since I vented last night. Work's ok. I'm happier now that the weather's great. I think I'm bipolar in some way and easily affect by the weather. Whatever, I might end up in a psych ward like Britney, at least I can dust myself and try again at being nice at work. It's Stephanie, bitch.
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I just took my first GMAT prep exam from Manhattan GMAT. The first class is this Sunday and they asked us to do a diagnostic test and I got a 470. Pretty low, but I was surprised to see I scored higher in verbal, which should be my weak area.

Whilest taking the exam in the living room, I saw from the corner of my eye that Daisy was eatting her shit. I paused the exam and stomped over to her. I have no idea WTF is wrong with her recently, she's been fucking shitting everywhere in the house. I just took her out 10 mins ago and she's fucking shitting again. I was pissed as fuck. I threw her in the sink and whiped her with my key chain (it's a soft rope). This is the second time today! I came home and took a shower and she fucking shitting in the bathroom while I was showering!

I am fucking tired. Pissed off at the world. I am so fucking angry at everything and everybody. It's V-day tmr and I have no idea what to do for H. He just left today for Boston, but coming back on Friday night and I miss him so much when he's not here. I feel so bad for not being so romantic to him. I mean, we barely even have sex now a days, it's only our second year! It bothers me that I'm not romantic as I was with my exes. Hell, I made a scrap book for my ex - I hope he burned it, that mofo.

While I was taking the practice test, all I can think about how much I hate my job and everyone I work with and how much I want to quit. All I wanted to do is to finish the test fast, I didn't even use all the time to take the exam, I just guessed most of it. My mind couldn't concentrate and I didn't even want to read the questions. My mind is blank and my eyes are zoning out. I feel like I'm day dreaming all the time.

My mind couldn't stop thinking about how much I just want to walk into my VP's office and tell him off and walk out. I swear, I'm so fed up with everyone at work. Here are just a few reasons WHY:

1. I don't think he knows I'm on his team, he passes by me all the time without saying hi. He'd tell my coworker in the next cube about an event and not telling me. I don't know if he's assuming she'll rely the message to me, but I think it's pretty disrespectful and it's not the first time already. He'd say "hey we are going to get starbucks, come if you want" to my coworker and leave me completely out of the picture.
2. When I first started, he made all these promises of how challenge the work is and how they reward everyone accordingly, he'd come by and make sure I was ok. AND NOW, 8 months later, he act like he doesn't even know me. We sometimes bump into each other at the water cooler and he's just slient, talk about uncomfortable moments.
3. I am the only staff on this team, the person who used to be a staff just got promoted. I understand there are rankings and all that. So during the assignment meeting, that bitch was complaining how she wants my assignment, because it's more "fun", and OH did I mention, I've done all the research already and the manager wanted ME on the project? She jumped up and acted all bitchy and took my assignment. and today, she had the nerve to tell my manager in front of me that the "research" was nothing, it was just some documents from previous years. WHY DON'T YOU GO SEARCH FOR THEM THEN? YOU FUCKING DICK SUCKING WHORE!
4. Thank god the new office assignment have me one cube away from my manager, cus bitch fucking gets on my nerves. She's a "bridezilla" type. You know, about to get married and asks me to look at her damn fucking shoes every other 5 mins. DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU WEAR WITH YOUR CANKLE? FUCKING FAT ASS BITCH. she was telling me she can't wear boots cus her calf is too big. I'm like, you used to be a runner or something? She's all like, no, I was a ballerina. HAHAHAHAHAA... I'm sorry, but that was a funny joke, ok whatever bitch.
5. the only person I was close with at work is just turning into this super self-absorbed annoying ass bitch. O M G. I cannot believe the amount of time this person talking about "me, me me" "me and steven played wii last night" "me and steven had sex last night" "steven loves me, got me a phone" "steven want to buy me a new tv." "steven is so cute but i don't like him" "steven asked me to go over to his house, should i go?" while i stare at her blankly and zoning out with the "steven, steven, steven.." she's like, "hello? any answers? u r no help." I'm like.. "well, i don't know, does my opinion matter? I've never met him before and i don't really care if you go over his house tonight." She responds with a snappy "you are boring." turned around and kept walking.

FUN, JUST PURE FUCKING FUN WORKING IN A FUCKING CIRCUITS. I am so depressed working there, I sometimes wish a bus could run me over on my way to work. All of these after 4 years of college, working my ass off for exams, interviews and multiple internships. Graduate Cumma Laude and THIS IS WHAT I GET! WORKING WITH FUCKING IDIOTS ALL FUCKING DAY.

I want to cry. Seriously... I just want to cry my fucking eye balls out because I cannot believe what my life has come to be. Since no one likes me at work, I predict no one will write a good recommandation for me to go to grad school. they are already looking at me weird for taking GMAT. Why waste time on someone who's gonna leave right? I wonder why they never thought about how to retaining their workers instead of just finding another one to replace it.

Corporate America... is worse than hell.... for all your college students out there, find your true passion and go for it. Don't live someone else's dream, it's not your duty to fulfill their dreams. Live out your own fantasy and you won't be miserable like me.

I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now...

2 more days of hell.

kill

me

now