thank god i'm not the only one freakin' out

fuzkittie said...
Woah!! Major awesomeness!!! Yes, I'd be a little scared and nervous as well... but it's still cool!! How long will you be there for?I guess I won't be seeing makeup hauls from Kenya? ;] Maybe they have really cool skincare techniques that you can learn about!! Like using mud or something... @_@ I'm totally being an ignorant American right now, but oh well, hahaha.

I thought I was the only wuss freaking out! I'll be there 4-6 weeks, I can fly home every 3 weeks. Hauls from Kenya? I doubt it, except for zebra shoes and cheetah purses. lol. not sure if they use mud or elephant poop, but i'll bring some back and mail it to you guys. lol. jk.

blue_orchid_on_the_rock said...
You'll be in London? How great is that. I knew that London is great, but since I live here - I totally love it!Ciao Bella,Jaya

I can't wait to visit London! Hard to believe I have never been there before! I wonder how's the makeup shopping there.. i heard it's really expensive. but if I can get Suqqu or some japanese makeup brand there, I'd be willing to spend the extra pound.

ainstein said...
whoa that is crazy! id be freakin out if i get shipped out to some place i have no clue about. r u gonna be by yourself or will u have a co worker with u?

I'll have a coworker with me. But i'm not very close with her. I guess when we are on this trip together, we'll get closer.

Anonymous said...
are you going to be there permanently or is this a short business trip? wow sounds like an adventure!

it's just a business trip. 4-6 weeks. if i get stationed out there permanently, you can be sure my answer would be HELLZ TO THE N-O!

Aprecia said...
How exciting!! Have a safe trip. And dont forget to check out the make up they have there. I never seen safari or african cosmetic brands before. I wonder what they have.

I'll be sure to check out the safari! there is a national park literally right next dowh the street from the downtown center. You can get a shot of the rhino with a city sky scraper background. how cool is that!

angie519 said...
wow! Lucky you! Africa is on my lists of places to visit! Remember to update if possible! Have a safe trip!

I'll definitely update everyday! it'd be nice to pass time in the hotel room by updating daily. Africa has alwasy been on my "bucket" list too, but it just came so soon! goes to show ya, life is so unpredictable!

Vannary said...
Just started reading your blog. Good luck on your trip! What will you be doing there?

I'll working there on emerging markets financial control oversight, it sounds a lot fancier than what it is. lol.

Anonymous said...
Remember the bug spray. Have fun.

Thanks for reminding me! I totally forgot to write down bug spray on my list.

MiuMiu said...
Congrats! Ostrich and gator meat huh? I've tried it ostrich jerky and alligator fried up like popcorn chicken...and they all taste like chicken to me lol

hahah.. i heard from so many people that all exotic meats taste just like chicken! I probably won't tell the difference anyways.

Bittenbefore said...
have a safe trip!wat do you do for a living?the payoff is really high for lavshuca eyeshadows

thanks! i'm an internal auditor at a bank that was bankrupted and then some of it got bought by another bank. So now i'm working for the B bank. =)

The Faux Fashionista said...
Woot! Congrats girl :) You deserve such big opportunities! Ostrich meat is good - a little gamey and tough, but tasty. I haven't had gator meat before though - I think its scary. Ostrich are just giant chickens, but gators are giant lizards, and I hate lizards >.<

Ostrich is gamey? yuck.. i don't like gamey meat, if it's anything like liver, i'll throw up. it's a good way to think that ostrich is just a giant chicken, Whole Foods sell ostrich eggs along with regular eggs and quail eggs. I hate all reptiles... not a big fan of gators and lizards...
-----------------------------

Ladies, I just want to say thank you for all your support. I'm scared shitless about this opportunity, but I know things like this don't come around too often. So i'm trying to embrace with it with open arms. It's been quite difficult in the past few days trying to let the news sink in. I feel as if I'm going to outer space! I saw my therapist yesterday and asked him if there is any "quick fix", b/c I am afraid to travel alone. Though i'll have coworkers, but I'll still need to fly alone (if she's flying out of ny and i fly out of newark), and be in the hotel room alone. He told me to take it slow... I'm seeing him again tmr for an action plan. I told him about my childhood and how my mothers' actions have affected me. Even though he told me I had a traumatic and abusive childhood, I believe every Asian kid got beat up by their parents when they were young. All Asian mothers say hurtful things to their kids. I'm not the only one. He said my dependency is reversed. Since I was so independent when I was younger while I need nurture and support, my parents weren't there for me. Right now, all grown up at 24, I am all of a sudden in need of attention, support and love more than ever to make up for what I lost during my younger years.

sigh.. have anxiety disorder really limits me with what I can do in life. I know I have potential, but the fear inside of me is so hard to suppress. This trip is going to be a test for me. It'll be my first time in 2 years to travel alone. I can count on 1 hand how many times I went up to Boston alone in the 2 years. But this time, I'm flying across 2 continents! 7 hr flight to London, then 8 hr flight to Kenya. I hope I don't go into attacks. I'll have my Xanax and sleeping aid with me. The best way to avoid attacks on flights is to knock the fuck out. I learned my lesson the hard way. I had an attack on a 17 hour flight back from China. With the transfer in Korea and Alaska, I think the flight was 22 hours. And I was have an attack for at least 10 hours of the flights. Other times I was sleeping or calming down. But seriously, the only thought I had was to JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE! now i understand the people who wants to open the door on the plane mid-air. It is the uncontrollble fear.

for all the ladies who find this helpful out there. I will keep updating with each of my treatment. Right now i still have Aetna so I can go to therapy and only pay $30 copay, once we swith over to Blue Cross Blue Shield, I don't think I can afford the $225 per session. =(

anyways, gotta go, we are gonna watch a Celtics game at Madison Square Garden. I'm gonna fall asleep again.. lol